SOMEONE LIKES THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE
‘I can’t wait to travel to Toronto, where my race is less of an issue and I feel at home’
LIFE AFTER LOCKDOWN
Lots of people miss the opportunity to travel during the pandemic, but for Ellie Abraham the chance to go back to her beloved Toronto isn't just about a holiday
Friday 3 July 2020
Credit: Jacek Zmarz ( Jacek Zmarz )
Ever since the UK government imposed a coronavirus lockdown, many of us have been surprised to discover that it’s the little things – not the extravagant or the particularly earth-shattering – that we’ve missed the most. The Independent lifestyle desk’s new essay series, Life After Lockdown, is an ode to everything we took for granted in the pre-Covid world – and the things we can’t wait to do once again when normality eventually resumes.
***
“Ellie, you know I’ve been waiting for you to come back to Toronto since you left, but I’m wondering if you should reschedule your trip,” the message dropped into the group chat. It’s three days before I’m due to fly out from Gatwick and, in Covid-19’s new world where nothing makes sense, reading those words is actually a relief.
“I’ve been thinking the same,” I admit, sensing long before this exchange that I’d be staying on terra firma, due to the spread of the pandemic. On a video call, the three of us are in agreement: we’re disappointed, but it’s the right thing to postpone.
As we say our goodbyes, I get that same pang of sadness every time I’m reminded of the physical distance. Ceremoniously, I begin putting away the pile of Easter chocolate I was planning to take as a gift. For months I’d clung to the anticipation of seeing some of my best friends and my favourite city again after 15 months apart. And now, because of a microscopic virus wreaking havoc on the world, it could be another 15.
Michelle, Bianca and I met at a tech start-up in Toronto, a few months after I’d moved there on a two-year work visa, in 2017. Bianca hired me and the three of us quickly bonded over our love of music. During one of our Friday night drinking sessions, which helped solidify our friendship, I was told it was a Frank Ocean article I’d written that clinched me the job.
Soon enough we were hanging out all the time, playing Catan or listening to music and cooking. They introduced me to their friends who then became mine. It was revolutionary to be surrounded by peers who were also people of colour, and to be seen. As cliché as it sounds, for the first time in my adult life, I’d found my tribe.
Growing up, I felt in a perpetual state of ‘otherness’. Being mixed-race in a very white area meant never quite fitting in with any community, resulting in some very awkward teen years. But as I settled into my new home with wonderful roommates in Toronto’s vibrant Kensington Market, I felt less and less out of sorts. With the atmosphere of Brighton Lanes, this neighbourhood of the city is hands down the quirkiest.
It’s clear that unlike here in the UK, forms of ‘otherness’ and self-expression aren’t looked down upon or judged in Toronto...
Encapsulated in a few streets you’ll find Salvadoran, Hungarian, First Nations and Chilean cuisine, to name just a few, alongside vintage shops and greengrocers. In the warmer months, the pleasant smell of cooking emanates from jerk chicken grilled on barrel barbecues outside Rasta Pasta – the market’s Jamaican Italian fusion spot.
You might even see the guy dressed as Spider-Man on a longboard, a market regular who the residents don’t bat an eyelid at. Through our small living room window, I witnessed hundreds of naked cyclists go by on the street below (for a climate change demonstration), a man unironically wearing a T-Rex costume, more brawls than a Wetherspoons pub at closing and insanely talented musicians playing for the joy of it.
It’s clear that unlike here in the UK, forms of ‘otherness’ and self-expression aren’t looked down upon or judged in Toronto. Broadly speaking, the British way is to blend in, stick to the status quo and make as little fuss as humanly possible. It can make us quite prudish and at times self-conscious.
LIFE AFTER LOCKDOWN
Lots of people miss the opportunity to travel during the pandemic, but for Ellie Abraham the chance to go back to her beloved Toronto isn't just about a holiday
Friday 3 July 2020
Credit: Jacek Zmarz ( Jacek Zmarz )
Ever since the UK government imposed a coronavirus lockdown, many of us have been surprised to discover that it’s the little things – not the extravagant or the particularly earth-shattering – that we’ve missed the most. The Independent lifestyle desk’s new essay series, Life After Lockdown, is an ode to everything we took for granted in the pre-Covid world – and the things we can’t wait to do once again when normality eventually resumes.
***
“Ellie, you know I’ve been waiting for you to come back to Toronto since you left, but I’m wondering if you should reschedule your trip,” the message dropped into the group chat. It’s three days before I’m due to fly out from Gatwick and, in Covid-19’s new world where nothing makes sense, reading those words is actually a relief.
“I’ve been thinking the same,” I admit, sensing long before this exchange that I’d be staying on terra firma, due to the spread of the pandemic. On a video call, the three of us are in agreement: we’re disappointed, but it’s the right thing to postpone.
As we say our goodbyes, I get that same pang of sadness every time I’m reminded of the physical distance. Ceremoniously, I begin putting away the pile of Easter chocolate I was planning to take as a gift. For months I’d clung to the anticipation of seeing some of my best friends and my favourite city again after 15 months apart. And now, because of a microscopic virus wreaking havoc on the world, it could be another 15.
Michelle, Bianca and I met at a tech start-up in Toronto, a few months after I’d moved there on a two-year work visa, in 2017. Bianca hired me and the three of us quickly bonded over our love of music. During one of our Friday night drinking sessions, which helped solidify our friendship, I was told it was a Frank Ocean article I’d written that clinched me the job.
Soon enough we were hanging out all the time, playing Catan or listening to music and cooking. They introduced me to their friends who then became mine. It was revolutionary to be surrounded by peers who were also people of colour, and to be seen. As cliché as it sounds, for the first time in my adult life, I’d found my tribe.
Growing up, I felt in a perpetual state of ‘otherness’. Being mixed-race in a very white area meant never quite fitting in with any community, resulting in some very awkward teen years. But as I settled into my new home with wonderful roommates in Toronto’s vibrant Kensington Market, I felt less and less out of sorts. With the atmosphere of Brighton Lanes, this neighbourhood of the city is hands down the quirkiest.
It’s clear that unlike here in the UK, forms of ‘otherness’ and self-expression aren’t looked down upon or judged in Toronto...
Encapsulated in a few streets you’ll find Salvadoran, Hungarian, First Nations and Chilean cuisine, to name just a few, alongside vintage shops and greengrocers. In the warmer months, the pleasant smell of cooking emanates from jerk chicken grilled on barrel barbecues outside Rasta Pasta – the market’s Jamaican Italian fusion spot.
You might even see the guy dressed as Spider-Man on a longboard, a market regular who the residents don’t bat an eyelid at. Through our small living room window, I witnessed hundreds of naked cyclists go by on the street below (for a climate change demonstration), a man unironically wearing a T-Rex costume, more brawls than a Wetherspoons pub at closing and insanely talented musicians playing for the joy of it.
It’s clear that unlike here in the UK, forms of ‘otherness’ and self-expression aren’t looked down upon or judged in Toronto. Broadly speaking, the British way is to blend in, stick to the status quo and make as little fuss as humanly possible. It can make us quite prudish and at times self-conscious.
But in Toronto differences are embraced and celebrated as part of the city’s identity; because of this, it’s where I feel most like myself – where I’m not an outsider in my brown skin. There’s a ubiquitous aura of kindness, confirmed by the many protests and spontaneous gestures of love.
From protesting for marginalised communities at Women’s Marches and rallies against Islamophobia, to the small but touching gestures honouring victims of the Westminster and Manchester arena terrorist attacks– I’ve never experienced such an inclusive city.
The freedom of expression the city affords gave my friends and me permission to dream big. One week, we’d try to pen a TV show like Toronto’s answer to "Broad City". The next we’d want to start a podcast. We’d plot our futures over plates of dim sum in our favourite Chinatown restaurant and be those annoying people who buy one pastel de nata between three and use the Wi-Fi for hours in a café in Little Portugal.
Despite all the praise, the city is not without its faults: what they call “cheddar” is an orange abomination, you’re lucky if your house hasn’t seen at least one kind of pest, the summers are suffocating and the winters make you want to hibernate like a bear.
But when it comes to Toronto, it’s not simply about going on a holiday, it’s about going home..."
But even with the many imperfections, I’d often walk the residential streets with headphones on, at that hour just before curtains close, looking at the beautiful Victorian houses and dreaming up a world in which I could stay beyond my limited visa.
Now lockdown here is easing slightly, it’s frustrating to know it may still be a while before long-haul travel is possible (or desirable). Until then, I look forward to the day I can see my friends again and slip into the same rhythm as when I lived there, making the most of the city on a budget with free movies in the park, panel talks, beach evenings and DJing our own parties, singing Carly Rae Jepsen into the night.
After over 100 days in lockdown, I understand the widespread appetite for foreign travel because I’m one of them. I certainly wouldn’t turn down two weeks in the Italian countryside but when it comes to Toronto, it’s not simply about going on a holiday, it’s about going home.
From protesting for marginalised communities at Women’s Marches and rallies against Islamophobia, to the small but touching gestures honouring victims of the Westminster and Manchester arena terrorist attacks– I’ve never experienced such an inclusive city.
The freedom of expression the city affords gave my friends and me permission to dream big. One week, we’d try to pen a TV show like Toronto’s answer to "Broad City". The next we’d want to start a podcast. We’d plot our futures over plates of dim sum in our favourite Chinatown restaurant and be those annoying people who buy one pastel de nata between three and use the Wi-Fi for hours in a café in Little Portugal.
Despite all the praise, the city is not without its faults: what they call “cheddar” is an orange abomination, you’re lucky if your house hasn’t seen at least one kind of pest, the summers are suffocating and the winters make you want to hibernate like a bear.
But when it comes to Toronto, it’s not simply about going on a holiday, it’s about going home..."
But even with the many imperfections, I’d often walk the residential streets with headphones on, at that hour just before curtains close, looking at the beautiful Victorian houses and dreaming up a world in which I could stay beyond my limited visa.
Now lockdown here is easing slightly, it’s frustrating to know it may still be a while before long-haul travel is possible (or desirable). Until then, I look forward to the day I can see my friends again and slip into the same rhythm as when I lived there, making the most of the city on a budget with free movies in the park, panel talks, beach evenings and DJing our own parties, singing Carly Rae Jepsen into the night.
After over 100 days in lockdown, I understand the widespread appetite for foreign travel because I’m one of them. I certainly wouldn’t turn down two weeks in the Italian countryside but when it comes to Toronto, it’s not simply about going on a holiday, it’s about going home.
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