Thursday, December 08, 2022

CANADA
Powerful new White Ribbon campaign focuses on men who become first-time fathers to girls

Story by Rita DeMontis • Yesterday 

Powerful new White Ribbon campaign focuses on men who become first-time fathers to girls© Provided by Toronto Sun

For some men, everything changes when they have a daughter.

And for many, it is one of the most terrifying experiences, not because they don’t love their child, but because the father knows what challenges his daughter is up against – basing it on his own past actions.

So is the powerful messaging of the White Ribbon ‘s new campaign called I Knew All Along, which captures in film a father’s distress and fear while lovingly holding his newborn daughter in his arms. The pain and remorse on the man’s face reveals that he knows what those challenges will be as he reflects on his own past behaviours with girls.

Coming so closely on the heels of the recent Montreal Massacre anniversary, the White Ribbon messaging (an organization founded by men in 1991 as a direct reaction to the massacre to bring awareness of the violence many women face in their lives) takes on an even more urgent appeal, given this abuse continues its relentless course, and traversing all levels of society.

“On December 6, 1989, fourteen women engineering students were killed in the École Polytechnique shooting, in a horrific act of gender-based violence and hatred,” said Humberto Carolo, White Ribbon executive director in a recent email. “Displays of harmful gender norms and stereotypes are so ingrained within our culture that it often takes personal experience, such as having a daughter, for many men to recognize these unhealthy behaviours,” explaining that “ I Knew All Along sheds light on the gender-based aggressions that men may have engaged in, whether verbal or behavioural, intentional, or unintentional, and reveals why they should not be ignored or minimized.”

Gender-based violence continues to be on the rise, White Ribbon organizers organizers say, “and it is important that men are part of the solution in changing systemic gender inequalities and promote healthy masculinities.”

Carolo explains that “displays of unhealthy masculinities … are learned behaviours and not something men and boys are inherently born with. Our mission with I Knew All Along is to highlight the experiences many people in our communities face and encourage male-identified individuals to become more conscious of and accountable for their actions.”

Gender-based violence – be it against girls, women, trans or non-binary people – can take the form of everything from name calling to pushing, hitting, stalking, sexual assault, rape, criminal harassment, manipulation – even death.



Serghei Turcanu/Getty Images© Serghei Turcanu

According to the Canadian Women’s Foundation , “it can happen between people in romantic relationships, in families, at work, and between friends and acquaintances and strangers … it often occurs in private places between people who know each other.”

Anyone can be abused, notes the site, regardless of background, identity, or circumstance. “But women, girls, and gender-diverse people are at high risk of gender-based violence.”

And it’s deadly: The Foundation reports “approximately every six days, a woman in Canada is killed by her intimate partner.”

Which makes the new White Ribbon campaign so critical: A 2022 study commissioned by the organization explores the concerns parents may experience after having a daughter. Three-quarters of moms of daughters and two-thirds of dads of daughters disclosed that having a daughter made them more concerned about the challenges that women often face in society. “Further, 70% of those who don’t have a daughter believe that if they had one, it would make them more aware or concerned,” notes a recent media release.

One man spoke about his own sense of identity as a new father: “As a new father to my first daughter, I want to do everything I can to build a healthy relationship with her and be a positive role model where she can learn and experience respect,” said Taylor Demetrioff, White Ribbon bilingual community engagement manager, in a recent media release. “It’s important to help my daughter grow up seeing her father being vulnerable and connecting with her emotionally so that she has a healthier sense of masculinity, security and respected boundaries.”

Carolo notes that White Ribbon “has always focused on highlighting the systemic and societal issues that lead to gender-based violence,” stating the White Ribbon campaign, which basically started as a grassroots operation, has spread to more than 60 countries, “becoming the largest movement of men and boys working to end violence against women and girls,” said Carolo, adding “its mission is to help men and boys understand the reality and dimension of this issue so they can become allies, challenge harmful behaviours, and make real change.”

The release of I Knew All Along addresses all these changes in a powerful film directed by TIFF 2022 People’s Choice Award winner Hubert Davis. The public service announcement “encourages men to act now, regardless of whether they have daughters or not, to be role models of gender equity and help create a violence and discrimination-free world.”

“Film has the power to present complex social issues in a way that is both compelling and universal,” said Davis in a recent media release. “To make an emotional impact, it was important for us to highlight a profound personal experience – like becoming a new parent. While not everyone may be a parent, many understand what it feels like to want to protect a loved one.”

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