Harriet Williamson
Thu, January 6, 2022
‘The truly selfish thing would be to have children when you don’t really want them’
(Reuters)
Yesterday, Pope Francis made some comments during a general assembly at the Vatican that to me, seemed incredibly tone-deaf.
“Today,” he said, “we see a form of selfishness. We see that some people do not want to have a child. Sometimes they have one, and that’s it, but they have dogs and cats that take the place of children. This may make people laugh, but it is a reality.”
The idea that being child-free by choice is somehow “selfish” is not just regressive and insulting, it’s actually quite ridiculous. We’re already seeing the devastating effects of the climate crisis around the globe, including deadly droughts and raging wildfires. It is absolutely understandable that some people are choosing not to bring children into a world so full of uncertainty.
My hypothetical children would find themselves in the eye of the storm in terms of the climate crisis. I don’t know what their lives might look like; what natural, social and economic disasters, shortages of basic essentials and extreme weather events they may face.
I wouldn’t wish the challenges that the next generation will be saddled with – due to the inaction, greed and yes, selfishness – of those who have gone before them, upon anyone.
Another extremely pressing concern is the financial element of having children. Over the next year, people in the UK – particularly the poorest and most vulnerable – will be facing a worsening cost of living crisis.
For those (like me) who live in pricey rented accommodation with no spare bedroom, a child is just not feasible. When money is tight every single month, how are people expected to give their potential child a comfortable, secure life?
Early years childcare in the UK is incredibly expensive, only becoming cheaper when the child turns three. The average cost of sending a child under two to a nursery for 25 hours per week (part-time) rose to £7,160 in 2021, compared to £6,800 in 2020. It’s generally the most expensive in London, where I happen to live.
Then there’s the well-documented “motherhood penalty” that women who choose to have children face. Their earnings are substantially lower than women who are child-free, by up to 45 per cent. Conversely, fathers who work full-time get a “fatherhood bonus”, earning up a fifth more than their child-free counterparts. Choosing to have kids, as a woman, generally means taking a very real hit to your career and earnings.
For people who live with mental health problems and other disabilities, there are all sorts of other things to consider in the conversation about whether to have children.
For others, there might be issues of hereditary medical conditions, lifestyle incompatibility and trauma relating to the experience of childhood abuse. Some people simply never feel ready for kids. They don’t feel a biological imperative, or that parenthood is for them. All reasons are valid. The truly selfish thing would be to have children when you don’t really want them.
Of course, if you want (and have) children, they can be a source of immense joy. It’s not all doom and gloom. But if you can’t, or don’t want them – and find the idea of pregnancy, hormonal and body changes, the birth experience, the risk of postnatal depression or anxiety, years of sleeplessness, toilet-training and even issues such as having to explain what revenge porn is to an eight-year-old quite awful – then you can make the call to stay child-free; and no one should make you feel guilty about it.
Let’s not forget – having kids will never be an issue for the Pope. But for people like me, it’s about making a considered personal choice.
I simply don’t feel that my purpose on this planet is to procreate or raise a child; so I’ll stick with my cats and future dog, thank you – and neither the Pope, nor anyone else, should get to have a say in that.
Yesterday, Pope Francis made some comments during a general assembly at the Vatican that to me, seemed incredibly tone-deaf.
“Today,” he said, “we see a form of selfishness. We see that some people do not want to have a child. Sometimes they have one, and that’s it, but they have dogs and cats that take the place of children. This may make people laugh, but it is a reality.”
The idea that being child-free by choice is somehow “selfish” is not just regressive and insulting, it’s actually quite ridiculous. We’re already seeing the devastating effects of the climate crisis around the globe, including deadly droughts and raging wildfires. It is absolutely understandable that some people are choosing not to bring children into a world so full of uncertainty.
My hypothetical children would find themselves in the eye of the storm in terms of the climate crisis. I don’t know what their lives might look like; what natural, social and economic disasters, shortages of basic essentials and extreme weather events they may face.
I wouldn’t wish the challenges that the next generation will be saddled with – due to the inaction, greed and yes, selfishness – of those who have gone before them, upon anyone.
Another extremely pressing concern is the financial element of having children. Over the next year, people in the UK – particularly the poorest and most vulnerable – will be facing a worsening cost of living crisis.
For those (like me) who live in pricey rented accommodation with no spare bedroom, a child is just not feasible. When money is tight every single month, how are people expected to give their potential child a comfortable, secure life?
Early years childcare in the UK is incredibly expensive, only becoming cheaper when the child turns three. The average cost of sending a child under two to a nursery for 25 hours per week (part-time) rose to £7,160 in 2021, compared to £6,800 in 2020. It’s generally the most expensive in London, where I happen to live.
Then there’s the well-documented “motherhood penalty” that women who choose to have children face. Their earnings are substantially lower than women who are child-free, by up to 45 per cent. Conversely, fathers who work full-time get a “fatherhood bonus”, earning up a fifth more than their child-free counterparts. Choosing to have kids, as a woman, generally means taking a very real hit to your career and earnings.
For people who live with mental health problems and other disabilities, there are all sorts of other things to consider in the conversation about whether to have children.
For others, there might be issues of hereditary medical conditions, lifestyle incompatibility and trauma relating to the experience of childhood abuse. Some people simply never feel ready for kids. They don’t feel a biological imperative, or that parenthood is for them. All reasons are valid. The truly selfish thing would be to have children when you don’t really want them.
Of course, if you want (and have) children, they can be a source of immense joy. It’s not all doom and gloom. But if you can’t, or don’t want them – and find the idea of pregnancy, hormonal and body changes, the birth experience, the risk of postnatal depression or anxiety, years of sleeplessness, toilet-training and even issues such as having to explain what revenge porn is to an eight-year-old quite awful – then you can make the call to stay child-free; and no one should make you feel guilty about it.
Let’s not forget – having kids will never be an issue for the Pope. But for people like me, it’s about making a considered personal choice.
I simply don’t feel that my purpose on this planet is to procreate or raise a child; so I’ll stick with my cats and future dog, thank you – and neither the Pope, nor anyone else, should get to have a say in that.
Pope under fire after calling people ‘selfish’ for having pets instead of kids
By Michelle Butterfield
Global News
Posted January 5, 2022
Pope Francis says having pets instead of children is 'selfish'
Pope Francis has called couples who decide to have pets over children “selfish,” while instructing people to have more children in the face of declining populations.
Speaking to a general audience at the Vatican on Wednesday, he said, “Today … we see a form of selfishness. We see that some people do not want to have a child. Sometimes they have one, and that’s it, but they have dogs and cats that take the place of children. This may make people laugh but it is a reality.”
The Pope argued that a couple’s decision to remain childless leads to a loss of “humanity” and does not serve civilization.
“And this denial of fatherhood or motherhood diminishes us, it takes away our humanity. And in this way civilization becomes aged and without humanity, because it loses the richness of fatherhood and motherhood. And our homeland suffers, as it does not have children,” he continued.
His comments struck a sour note, with many people taking to social media to call out the childless leader of the Catholic Church.
Others shared that the Pope should not have a say or opinion in the personal choices people make for their bodies.
In his address, the Pope also suggested that couples who cannot biologically have children should consider adoption, and urged potential parents “not to be afraid” of having kids.
“Having a child is always a risk, but there is more risk in not having a child, in denying paternity,” he said, referencing a “demographic winter” – possibly referring to countries with declining birth rates.
Canada’s birth rate has been steadily declining since 2008 – a trend seen across much of the western world.
READ MORE: The number of births in Canada has fallen to a 15-year low amid COVID-19 pandemic
Since the onset of the pandemic, that decrease has intensified: the birth rate decreased from 1.47 children per woman in 2019 to a record low of 1.40 children per woman in 2020.
Statistics Canada said 358,604 live births were reported across the country in 2020, the lowest number since 2006. The decline from 2019 — 3.6 per cent — was also the greatest year-over-year decline in 14 years.
Mary-Ann Murphy, an associate professor at the University of British Columbia who specializes in aging and demographics, told Global News last year that the COVID-19 pandemic in Canada has brought with it “the opposite of a baby boom.”
READ MORE: The COVID-19 baby dilemma — Why Canadians are rethinking parenthood in 2021
She said more couples are concerned about finances, job security and keeping a roof over their heads than growing their families.
She also said that more women are spending what would be considered prime child-rearing years on advancing their jobs and livelihoods, and are not choosing to have children until their 30s.
Posted January 5, 2022
Pope Francis says having pets instead of children is 'selfish'
Pope Francis has called couples who decide to have pets over children “selfish,” while instructing people to have more children in the face of declining populations.
Speaking to a general audience at the Vatican on Wednesday, he said, “Today … we see a form of selfishness. We see that some people do not want to have a child. Sometimes they have one, and that’s it, but they have dogs and cats that take the place of children. This may make people laugh but it is a reality.”
The Pope argued that a couple’s decision to remain childless leads to a loss of “humanity” and does not serve civilization.
“And this denial of fatherhood or motherhood diminishes us, it takes away our humanity. And in this way civilization becomes aged and without humanity, because it loses the richness of fatherhood and motherhood. And our homeland suffers, as it does not have children,” he continued.
His comments struck a sour note, with many people taking to social media to call out the childless leader of the Catholic Church.
Others shared that the Pope should not have a say or opinion in the personal choices people make for their bodies.
In his address, the Pope also suggested that couples who cannot biologically have children should consider adoption, and urged potential parents “not to be afraid” of having kids.
“Having a child is always a risk, but there is more risk in not having a child, in denying paternity,” he said, referencing a “demographic winter” – possibly referring to countries with declining birth rates.
Canada’s birth rate has been steadily declining since 2008 – a trend seen across much of the western world.
READ MORE: The number of births in Canada has fallen to a 15-year low amid COVID-19 pandemic
Since the onset of the pandemic, that decrease has intensified: the birth rate decreased from 1.47 children per woman in 2019 to a record low of 1.40 children per woman in 2020.
Statistics Canada said 358,604 live births were reported across the country in 2020, the lowest number since 2006. The decline from 2019 — 3.6 per cent — was also the greatest year-over-year decline in 14 years.
Mary-Ann Murphy, an associate professor at the University of British Columbia who specializes in aging and demographics, told Global News last year that the COVID-19 pandemic in Canada has brought with it “the opposite of a baby boom.”
READ MORE: The COVID-19 baby dilemma — Why Canadians are rethinking parenthood in 2021
She said more couples are concerned about finances, job security and keeping a roof over their heads than growing their families.
She also said that more women are spending what would be considered prime child-rearing years on advancing their jobs and livelihoods, and are not choosing to have children until their 30s.
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