Sexism continues to live on through men like Javed Sheikh
Hawwa Fazal
Updated 13 Nov, 2023
Even after six years of women explaining what the slogan ‘Mera Jism Meri Marzi’ really means and the problems women face because of a lack of understanding of a basic concept like consent, men like Javed Sheikh still refuse to understand. They have buried their heads under the sand, pretending the problems faced by women don’t exist and reducing the slogan to a cheap gimmick.
Whenever ‘Mera Jism Meri Marzi’ is discussed, it always ends up being a barometer for misogyny in Pakistani society. In a podcast with FHM Pakistan’s Adnan Faisal, the ‘legendary’ actor Javed Sheikh implied that he does not believe in consent.
The conversation about women started when the host asked the actor about his opinions on the Aurat March and the slogan, which translates to ‘my body, my choice’. The Quaid-i-Azam Zindabad actor began by saying that though he greatly respects women, women should remain like women. He did not clarify, however, how exactly women should “be like women”.
He stated that he is against the slogan. When the host tried to explain the context behind the slogan, Sheikh brushed it off, saying, “kehna bhi acha nai lagta [even saying isn’t good]“, like a typical misogynist man who is set on his opinion.
His words indicate that he thinks that the slogan is about men and the male gaze, when in reality, it isn’t about men at all. It is about all genders having the ability to have control over their own bodies — including refusing to be touched, stared at or harassed. It is about the every day struggles of women who have to think twice before stepping out of the house. It is about all genders who feel unsafe in public and private spaces due to a looming fear of being touched against their will and much more.
In the podcast, Sheikh went on to explain why he was against women saying the slogan, “This is an Islamic country, you are born in a Muslim family”. Before he could complete his statement, the host interjected to explain that the slogan is about consent. However, it failed to make any impact on the actor. “I disagree with this,” he said nonchalantly, sliding back in his chair.
“Aurat jitne covered hogi utni achi lagay gi, meray hisab say [The more covered a woman is, the beautiful she will look, according to me],” the actor said.
One would think that as the father of a daughter, Javed Sheikh would be more empathetic in understanding the need for women to have control over their bodies and have the power to refuse anybody who tries to force themselves onto them. On the contrary, he said he didn’t even feel that women should have this power. He failed to grasp the concept that no one should be able to have power over anyone else’s body but their own.
It seems like Sheikh lives in a bubble where the worst problems are the way women dress. He seems to be under the impression that having agency over your body means women in Pakistan will be running in the streets in their birthday suits. We think he needs some lessons on what women who live outside his bubble experience and how they often have to bear the consequences of a lack of understanding of the word ‘consent’.
His words and actions clearly show that he, like most bigoted Pakistani men, has failed to understand that the word jism is not sexual. Instead, the “slogan is fundamentally saying you don’t get to set the terms of my life, my body, my decisions, my agency, you don’t get to dictate,” as beautifully put by Mira Sethi.
We Are Not Beautiful
Beauty has been part of history and folklore for millennia. Men, we are told, have desired and admired beautiful women. Standards of beauty have, of course, varied from age to age and culture to culture, and just as customs and traditions have changed, so has the idea of what beauty is. It’s no secret that good-looking people are popular even when the facts tell another tale. Take the myth about Cleopatra’s beauty. The Egyptian queen, who was of Macedonian descent, was, according to historians, not the iconic beauty we have seen immortalised on the big screen; she was in fact a woman with a strong personality.
However, talking about the personality of a woman without clubbing it with the word beauty seems like heresy in our modern day and age. We have experienced quite a few revolutions in the past 150 years, and one of them has been the rise of the body positivity movement. The logic we hear time and again is that everyone (women in particular) is beautiful. To suggest anything else would warrant a lynch mob and brands, it seems, have embraced this mantra. Dove especially has won accolades and public support for embracing body positivity and empowering women to believe they are beautiful.
From an ethical perspective, the reality is different and global brands are dangerously spreading Western ideals of beauty – especially of fair skin. Even in Africa, women are turning to whitening creams, while closer to home in India, there has been a backlash against fairness creams, the ripples of which have been felt in Pakistan. Rights activists have castigated the emphasis on fairness as whitewashing and colonialist. However, to be honest, brands do prey on people’s low self-esteem, so it is not surprising that activists and even ordinary people have been condemnatory of certain brands – and while it is true (hate it or love it) that the world is appearance-driven and to a large extent obsessed with perfection, this mindset is nevertheless a dangerous one that breeds low self-confidence at best and self-loathing at worst.
Do brands generate low self-esteem especially among women or do they rely on it? Although this seems to be a chicken-and-egg discussion for most, I feel that brands zero in on the insecurity and sense of inadequacy created by the negative incidents that affect our lives. Do brands in the beauty and personal care business have a moral responsibility to change the way they communicate and advertise? Yes, they do; more so in the age of social media where the veneer of fakeness has become so thick and can lead to damaging mental and emotional consequences.
In Pakistan, however, it is rare for a beauty or fashion brand to divert from the stereotypical skin colour, body type and height seen on international ramps and screens. For things to change, we need to accept our colourism and prejudice towards darker complexions first.
So are beauty and personal care brands stepping up to the plate? While some have, by embracing plus sizes and ethnically diverse faces, most are still perpetuating the fair skin, slim figure and thin waist stereotype that has influenced millions of impressionable women globally. This is not to say that efforts have not been made towards diversity and inclusivity. I remember when I was doing my A’ levels, a student from Somalia joined our class. To introduce himself he told us his name and which country he came from. As expected, very few of us had heard of Somalia, so he asked us if we had heard of supermodel Iman, informing us that she too was from Somalia. We all knew that Iman was among the most beautiful and celebrated women in the world, but for that student, it meant representation and global prestige for his country.
So has enough been done? The answer is that small steps have been made. We all know how Dove made body positivity a cause. Furthermore, the popularity of people like Priyanka Chopra and the launch of brands by Rihanna has meant that women who are not necessarily fair or slim can find suitable products for their skin tones. In Pakistan, however, it is rare for a beauty or fashion brand to divert from the stereotypical skin colour, body type and height seen on international ramps and screens. For things to change, we need to accept our colourism and prejudice towards darker complexions first.
As any sociologist will tell you, beauty is a social construct, and although it varies from society to society, the ideal of beauty is the same; to be thin and fair. Cindy Crawford made a telling point when she said she wished she could look like Cindy Crawford when she is on screen.
Today, brands in the beauty and personal care segment are endorsing body positivity and as far as good intentions go, this is worthy, but it is not enough. In my view, beauty standards are not the issue. Beauty as a standard is.
We need to drop the slogan that everyone is beautiful and I also think that the adage that beauty is only skin deep is even more toxic. We need to tell ourselves and especially our children that what we need to do is focus on what is beneath – that is what really matters. As a society, we – the public, the activists and brands – need to learn to celebrate substance instead of something as superficial as skin. Ed Sheeran embraced this mindset in his song Beautiful People: “That’s not who we are; we are not beautiful. Yeah, that’s not who we are; we are not beautiful.” And that is not something to be ashamed of.
Tyrone Tellis is Senior Manager, Corporate Sales and PR, Bogo. tyrone.tellis@gmail.com
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