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‘It’s not what she said, but what she did not say’: Canadians weigh in on MPP Sarah Jama’s stance on Israel, Palestine

Jama called out "the generations long occupation of Palestine" and what she called apartheid and human rights violations in Gaza on Tuesday

Sarah Jama, 23, a disability justice advocate who has cerebral palsy, poses for a portrait at her home in Hamilton, Ont., on Tuesday, March 13, 2018. Jama is happy that the new Stats Canada statistics on violence against women with disabilities due to come out later this week will give them something concrete to work with. "The numbers will validate what we have been talking about for years," she says. 

Peter Power (The Canadian Press)



Joy Joshi
·Writer, Yahoo News Canada
Wed, October 11, 2023

MPP for Hamilton Centre Sarah Jama came under fire following her statement on the ongoing Israel-Hamas war in the Middle East with increasing calls from many Canadians demanding her to resign for her stance on the matter.

Sarah Jama, who was elected earlier this year in a byelection in Hamilton Centre, published a written statement Tuesday decrying "the generations long occupation of Palestine" and what she called apartheid and human rights violations in Gaza.

Jama voiced her support for the people of Gaza as part of her post on X, formerly known as Twitter, and the backlash followed soon after.

While Ontario NDP leader Marit Styles called on Jama to take back her statement, Ontario Premier Doug Ford went as far as to call for her resignation saying Jama’s “views do not represent Ontario.”

On social media, Canadians and people from around the world were divided in their reactions to what Jama expressed in her press release.

Many were in complete support of her statement.

But other Canadians are calling for her resignation.

"Sarah Jama MUST be removed," demanded the Centre for Israel and Jewish Affairs in Canada.

A Palestinian PhD candidate said Premier Doug Ford "will be in the dustbin of history" and "Sarah will be forever respected as a trailblazer."

While Jama chose to remain silent over the hours following her post being made public, the calls for her resignation increased and many discussed if the situation was enough grounds for her to step down.

Yahoo News Canada reached out to experts at the University of Toronto to ask if what Sarah Jama said could possibly serve as the basis for her potential dismissal.

"There is no employment law protection. The party has complete authority. It's not an employment situation as the party has privilege and power. There is no firing process either, there is an election," said Director of the Centre for Industrial Relations and Human Relations Professor Rafael Gomez.

"Her MPP status is not affected by what the party does to her, she'll still sit as an Independent."

Professor Gomez also weighed in on the sensitivity of the matter and how timing plays a crucial role when including opinions and messages in political statements.

"It's not what she said, it's about what she did not say. The timing is critical. If this was said a month ago, no one would have batted an eye. But when you say something like that right after what went down over the weekend in Israel, it resonates as you are not denouncing the killing of hundreds of civilians. The statement had to be contextualized and that's, perhaps, what her party members are trying to get through to her," Professor Gomez told Yahoo News Canada.

“While she will have to face the consequences that the party decides. There is a time to discuss the nuance, perhaps, in this case, right after atrocities have been committed wasn’t the best opportunity or at least that’s what it seems from the larger public reaction. What they saw on Saturday was heinous. Period.”

Professor Gomez was quick to draw a contrast between the Sarah Jama situation and another hot story at the moment that involves Air Canada and a pilot.

Air Canada took one of their Montreal-based B787 first officers out of service on Monday after discovering posts that allegedly showed the pilot at a demonstration, holding anti-Israel signs.

The issue left many Canadians divided.

But "unlike the pilot whose fate will be decided by Air Canada, Sarah Jama's position in her seat will be decided by the people of her electorate," Professor Gomez said.

After almost a complete day of silence, the MPP for Hamilton Centre apologized for her choice of words in the post and issued a follow up statement.

"To be clear, I unequivocally condemn terrorism by Hamas on thousands of Israeli civilians. I also believe that Israel’s bombardment and siege on civilians in Gaza, as was also noted by the United Nations, is wrong. As a member of the Ontario NDP caucus,"

"I stand by the position of our federal party, and believe that violence against civilians is never justified, and that there is no military solution to this conflict," Jama posted on X earlier on Wednesday.

Whether Jama will be pressured further to resign or how her electorate sees the latest development remains to be seen, but what’s clear is that the Canada of 2023 remains divided on the Israel-Palestine issue.

CANADIAN PEACE ACTIVIST
Revered peace activist is missing after sending harrowing text message during Hamas assault

Rich Schapiro and Marissa Parra
Tue, October 10, 2023 a

As soon as she heard that Hamas militants were launching attacks in Israel, Avital Brown sent a WhatsApp message to her friend Vivian Silver, a Canadian-born peace activist who lived near the Gaza Strip.

In less than a minute, Silver, 74, responded from her home in Kibbutz Be’eri.

“It’s absolute chaos here,” she wrote in Hebrew at 7:54 a.m. Saturday, according to text messages shared with NBC News. “Terrorists have infiltrated Be’eri. There is shooting and screaming.”

Brown replied immediately but never heard back.

Silver is among those feared to have been killed on the spot or abducted by the militants and taken to Gaza, a place she knows well.

For nearly 50 years, Silver has worked to improve the plight of Palestinians and create a shared society between Jews and Arabs, having gone so far as to meet cancer-stricken Gaza residents at the border crossing and drive them to Jerusalem for treatment.

The silver-haired grandmother is regarded on both sides of the border as an irrepressible force, according to those who know and work with her.

“I’ve talked to Palestinians who feel completely devastated, like it was a family member who was taken,” said Aziz Abu Sarah, a Palestinian American who operates MEJDI Tours, which offers trips to Israel led by guides from both sides of the conflict.

“I hope that the people who took her realize who she is and what a beautiful person she is,” Abu Sarah added.

While Abu Sarah and other friends and family members don’t know what exactly happened to Silver, the lack of news leads them to believe she is among the Israeli captives in Gaza.

“No one told us if Israeli soldiers got to her house yet,” her son Yonatan Zeigen told Canada’s Globe and Mail newspaper. “So there is the possibility that’s she dead there, inside. But from what we gather she’s in Gaza.”

Zeigen told NBC News Tuesday morning that the authorities were still clearing the kibbutz of explosives and he had yet to hear any news about his mother.

Gershon Baskin, an activist who helped negotiate the release of Gilad Shalit, an Israeli soldier Hamas took captive in 2006 and set free five years later, has known Silver for more than 30 years.

“She has lots of friends in Gaza and in the Bedouin community in Israel who, I am sure, want her to be returned safely to her family,” he said in a message to NBC News. “This is a great tragedy for her family and for all of us. I am sure that she will be there to help the other more than 100 hostages, and I have no doubt that her captors will have great respect for her.”

Silver, who was born and raised in Winnipeg, moved to Israel in 1974.

She first worked for a nonprofit organization devoted to social justice and gender equality. Years later, in 1998, she became the executive director of the Negev Institute for Strategies of Peace and Development, where she launched an initiative to train and empower the local Arab Bedouin community.

She and her Arab partner in the effort, Amal Elsana Alh'jooj, were awarded the 2011 Victor J. Goldberg Peace Prize from the New York-based Institute for International Education. Judges praised their "efforts to promote peace and development within society."

In early 2014, she retired, became a grandmother and found herself in a period of soul-searching.

"I had to acknowledge that after 40 years of peace activism, the Left, of which I was a proud member, had not succeeded in achieving its goal of ending the Israeli-Palestinian conflict," she wrote in a 2018 blog post. "I decided that I would no longer do more of the same thing, that I must find another way."

She became a leader of Women Wage Peace, a grassroots organization made up of thousands of Arab and Jewish women seeking a resolution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

“I spent much time in Gaza until the outbreak of the second intifada. We continued working with organizations in the West Bank,” Silver wrote in the post. “That’s why it especially infuriates me when people claim: ‘We have no partner on the other side!’ I personally know so many Palestinians who yearn for peace no less than we do.”

Back home, longtime friends in Canada see Silver as a paragon of activism and moral clarity.

"She is somebody who has always, always worked for what she believes in, and she believes in peace and a shared society in Israel," said Lynne Mitchell, who met Silver at a B'nai B'rith Youth Organization event when they were 15. "She went there for that purpose when she was very young and has remained true to that her whole life."

Silver is a widow with two adult sons. Her American husband died four years ago, friends said.

Silver’s activism went beyond leading marches and rallies.

In addition to ferrying Gaza residents to Israeli hospitals for cancer treatments, her friends said, she also traveled to the border to make sure Arab laborers who worked at her kibbutz got paid during periods when they were barred from entering Israel.

Others who work to promote peace in Israel see Silver as a "titan in our space," said John Lyndon, the executive director of the Alliance for Middle East Peace, a network of more than 160 Israeli-Palestinian organizations engaged in grassroots peace building.

"Its easy to be left-wing and pro-peace if you live in north Tel Aviv. She lives at the Gaza border, right in the most difficult place for Israelis, where you can't escape the reality of the conflict,” he said. “And it's not just about where she lives; it's what she does every hour of every day. She's walking the walk.”

An unknown number of Israeli soldiers and civilians were taken hostage by Hamas fighters who poured into Israel by land, sea and air Saturday to launch a surprise attack staggering in scope. More than 100 people have been discovered dead at Silver's kibbutz, according to the Israeli volunteer rescue organization ZAKA.

On Monday, a spokesperson for the military wing of Hamas said militants will kill one civilian hostage every time Israel targets civilians in their homes in Gaza “without warning."

Three days before the Hamas assault, Silver led a rally in Jerusalem where thousands of women — Jews and Arabs, secular and religious — marched shoulder to shoulder. Dignitaries from Israel, Finland and Ireland also attended, according to Women Wage Peace.

Brown, the woman who received the text from Silver as the attack was unfolding, said she gave her fellow Women Wage Peace member a warm embrace before they bade each other farewell.

Silver told her to come visit her kibbutz. It’s so quiet there, she said, according to Brown, who lives in Tel Aviv.

“I’m glad that I hugged her on Wednesday,” Brown said. “And I’m definitely hoping that it’s not the last time I get to hug her.”

This article was originally published on NBCNews.com




Israeli Humanitarian Who Fought To End Occupation Feared To Be Among Hamas Captives

Sanjana Karanth
Tue, October 10, 2023 at 11:26 AM MDT·4 min read

A Canada-born Jewish humanitarian who dedicated most of her life to helping Palestinians has gone missing after Hamas fighters attacked Israel over the weekend.

Vivian Silver lives near the Gaza Strip in southern Israel’s Be’eri kibbutz. After Hamas fighters launched a surprise attack on Israel on Saturday, the 74-year-old hid at home and communicated with her son over the phone, he told CBC News. She texted him that the militants were in her house.

“She has a really great sense of humor, so we joked up until that point,” Yonatan Zeigen, who is based in Tel Aviv, told CBC News’ Adrienne Arsenault. “We were joking and then we said, ‘OK, it’s time to stop joking,’ and just expressed love for each other, and that was it.”

The attacks by Hamas, the armed group that rules over the millions of Palestinians in Gaza, have resulted in over 900 people killed in Israel, according to the nation’s military. Palestinian officials say that more than 700 people have been killed in sealed-off Gaza and the occupied West Bank since Israel launched massive retaliatory attacks with the support of Western nations.

Many civilians are still considered missing as the death toll continues to climb. Hamas has claimed that it took roughly 100 people captive, and recently threatened to kill one Israeli civilian hostage any time Israel targets civilians in their homes in Gaza “without prior warning.”

Zeigen told CBC that he does not believe his mother is missing, but instead either dead in her house or among the hostages taken to Gaza by Hamas. Authorities were still reportedly clearing the kibbutz of explosives and have not been able to provide an update on Silver’s whereabouts.

Loved ones of Silver have told media outlets that the Winnipeg-born woman dedicated her life to ending the Israeli occupation and is highly regarded by both Israelis and Palestinians as a force who fought for lasting, permanent peace.

“She’s a woman of small stature, but in spirit she’s a giant,” Zeigen said on CBC News. “She dedicated her life to peace work. She came to Israel 50 years ago and just after the [1973 Arab-Israeli War], which is kind of ironic, and since then she was just involved in activities to end the occupation and to solve the conflict.”

Silver was the executive director of the Negev Institute for Strategies of Peace and Development, an organization that describes itself as promoting a society where Arabs and Jews can cohabitate while preserving their respective identity and culture. She and activist Amal Elsana Alh’jooj earned the 2011 Victor J. Goldberg Peace Prize from the New York-based Institute for International Education for launching a program to train and empower the local Bedouin community.

“I had to acknowledge that after 40 years of peace activism, the Left, of which I was a proud member, had not succeeded in achieving its goal of ending the Israeli-Palestinian conflict,” Silver wrote in a 2018 blog post. “I decided that I would no longer do more of the same thing, that I must find another way.”

Silver leads the group Women Wage Peace, an organization of thousands of Arab and Jewish women seeking to end the Israeli occupation and create lasting peace in the region. She also volunteers with Road to Recovery, where she drives sick Palestinians from Gaza ― what human rights activists call an open-air prison with close to no access to medical help ― to Israeli hospitals.

“I spent much time in Gaza until the outbreak of the second intifada. We continued working with organizations in the West Bank,” Silver wrote in her post. “That’s why it especially infuriates me when people claim: ‘We have no partner on the other side!’ I personally know so many Palestinians who yearn for peace no less than we do.”

Aziz Abu Sarah, a Palestinian American who runs a tour company that offers trips to the region, told NBC News that the lack of news on Silver’s whereabouts could be a sign that she is among the captives.

“I’ve talked to Palestinians who feel completely devastated, like it was a family member who was taken,” Abu Sarah told the outlet. “I hope that the people who took her realize who she is and what a beautiful person she is.”

What is a kibbutz? Israel's farming communes were among hardest hit in Hamas attack

More than 100 bodies were recovered in Be’eri Kibbutz alone.

Dylan Stableford
·Senior Writer
Updated Wed, October 11, 2023 at 11:51 AM MDT·3 min read
2.4k



An Israeli soldier walks by a house destroyed by Hamas militants in Kibbutz Be'eri on Wednesday. (Baz Ratner/AP)


During their surprise attack on Israel that left more than 1,200 people dead, Hamas militants targeted several communal settlements known as kibbutzim near the border with Gaza.

What is a kibbutz?

Named for the Hebrew word for “gathering,” a kibbutz is typically an agrarian settlement in Israel. The first kibbutz, a farming commune known as Degania just south of the sea of Galilee, was founded in 1910. It’s now a museum. Today, there are roughly 270 kibbutzim — the plural form of kibbutz — in Israel. Most are now private but rooted in the socialist philosophy of communal and cooperative living.
What was the idea behind them?

“Jewish settlers behind the movement envisioned the kibbutzim as a place where Zionism met Marxism,” the Washington Post explains. “Kibbutzim and kibbutz culture were originally dominated by Ashkenazi Jews, or Jews of Eastern European descent, and were seen as less inclusive of those of Middle Eastern descent. These communities ranged from 50 residents to 2,000 and cropped up in places such as the border with Lebanon, the Jordan River and around the Gaza Strip, and many were originally built on what was then Palestinian land.”
Which kibbutzim were targeted?

Israeli soldiers remove a body in Kibbutz Be'eri on Wednesday. 

(Baz Ratner/AP) 


Reuters reporters who visited Kfar Aza, an Israeli commune just three miles east of Gaza, witnessed a horrific scene:

A baby's crushed crib lying outside a burnt-out home. Corpses strewn on streets. Body bags lined up on an outdoor basketball court. The stench of death everywhere.

Just a few days ago this was the sleepy, scenic kibbutz of Kfar Aza, an Israeli farming community of about 750 people, many of them families with young children. Now it's become a charnel house after Hamas gunmen burst out of the Gaza Strip on Saturday and laid waste to the village.

"Mothers, fathers, babies, young families killed in their beds, in the protection room, in the dining room, in their garden," Israeli Major General Itai Veruv said on Tuesday, the seasoned soldier visibly shaken as troops went door-to-door to collect the bodies of residents killed in their homes.

"It's not a war, it's not a battlefield. It's a massacre," Veruv said. Some victims were decapitated, he added. "I've never seen anything like this, and I've served for 40 years."

An Israeli soldier holds a dog in kibbutz Kfar Azza on Tuesday. 

(Ohad Zwigenberg/AP) 

Reuters: How an Israeli kibbutz 'paradise' turned into hell in Hamas attack

IDF DISINFORMATION/MISINFORMATION/RUMOURMONGERING

CNN: Children found ‘butchered’ in Israeli kibbutz, IDF says

GMA: The 'horrendous' toll on children caught in the Israel-Gaza conflict

Similar horrors were seen in Be’eri, a kibbutz of about 1,000 residents located in the northwestern Negev desert along the Gaza strip.

CNN reported that at least 107 bodies were found there Monday.

“Heavily armed militants arrived in Be’eri on motorbikes around 7 a.m., just half an hour after they breached the typically high-tech, tightly guarded border fence between Gaza and Israel,” CNN said, citing surveillance video showing armed militants taking civilians, including women and children, hostage before killing them.

The attack on Be’eri came around the same time as Hamas militants descended upon the nearby Nova music festival, where more than 260 bodies were later found.

Burned out cars are seen at the site of the rave where at least 260 were killed in a surprise attack on Saturday. (Ohad Zwigenberg/AP) (ASSOCIATED PRESS)

Joe Biden and Kamala Harris Welcome LGBTQ+ Groups' Endorsements

Trudy Ring

THE ADVOCATE
Tue, October 10, 2023 

President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris have welcomed the endorsement of their reelection campaign by three major national LGBTQ+ rights groups.

Biden and Harris have been endorsed by Equality PAC, the National Center for Transgender Equality Action Fund, and the Human Rights Campaign’s political action committee, the groups announced Tuesday.

“Next year’s election will determine whether LGBTQ+ Americans have more freedoms or less,” said a statement from Biden-Harris Campaign Manager Julie Chavez Rodriguez. “Across the country, MAGA Republicans are hell-bent on taking away LGBTQ+ Americans' hard-fought freedoms and are using our fellow Americans’ identities for political warfare. It’s shameful and not who we are as a country. The stakes of this election could not be higher for LGBTQ+ Americans, and President Biden and Vice President Harris are committed to fighting for every American’s fundamental freedoms. We are deeply honored to earn this historic, unified endorsement from the nation’s leading LGBTQ+ groups. With their support, we will activate the more than 60 million equality voters nationwide to reelect President Biden and Vice President Harris, and equality legislators up and down the ballot.”

HRC announced its endorsement early Tuesday, and a joint announcement with Equality PAC and NCTE followed.

“The National Center for Transgender Equality Action Fund is proud to announce its endorsement of President Joe Biden for a second term,” Rodrigo Heng-Lehtinen, executive director of the NCTE Action Fund, said in a press release. “Since taking office, President Biden has surpassed the efforts of all preceding administrations in his dedication to advancing the protections and rights of the transgender community. Without question, the Biden Administration has been the strongest advocate for the needs of transgender Americans of any presidential administration in American history."

Heng-Lehtinen added that Biden had focused significantly on the rights of trans Americans.

“We anticipate and look forward to further momentum for the advancement of transgender rights that could be accomplished in a second term, and toward a future where collaborative initiatives continue to thrive,” he said.

Related: 89 Images of Vice President Kamala Harris Behind the Scenes from The Advocate’s Exclusive

“Equality PAC is proud to stand with the most pro-equality Administration in the history of the United States — and we will do everything we can to help re-elect Joe Biden and Kamala Harris next year,” said Equality PAC’s cochairs, Democratic U.S. Reps. Mark Takano of California and Ritchie Torres of New York. “Since taking office, President Biden and Vice President Harris have worked tirelessly to expand LGBTQ rights, protect our community, and advocate for passage of the Equality Act. The LGBTQ community is under seemingly constant attack from extremists that want to roll back history and take away the basic rights that we have fought for and won in recent years. It is critical that we elect strong allies into office at every level of our government, including the presidency and vice presidency — allies like Joe Biden and Kamala Harris that will stand up for our community and speak out against injustice and hate. Make no mistake, LGBTQ rights are on the ballot in 2024 — and Joe Biden and Kamala Harris are the only candidates where we can put our faith, trust, and vote next year.”

“At a time when the forces of hatred seek to divide us by race, place, and identity the choice in this election is clear,” added HRC President Kelley Robinson. “LGBTQ+ Americans are living in a state of emergency and the leadership of the Biden-Harris Administration is needed now more than ever.”

Together, these groups represent 60 million Americans. They all have plans to mobilize pro-equality voters in the 2024 election.

 What is National Coming Out Day? What to know about the annual holiday

Gina Vivinetto
Tue, October 10, 2023 

National Coming Out Day (NCOD) is a day of awareness and celebration for the LGBTQ community and its allies.

The annual holiday, which takes place on Oct. 11, encourages gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgender people and other members of the LGBTQ community to come out of the closet, which is the metaphor the community has longed use to mean recognizing and revealing their authentic selves.

The aim of the holiday is simple: to demonstrate that LGBTQ people are everywhere.

Though LGBTQ people in the United States have made crucial legal and cultural gains in recent years, they still face significant barriers when it comes to homophobia, transphobia and/or other forms of discrimination based on sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

With literally hundreds of anti-LGBTQ bills introduced this year in legislatures in Florida, Tennessee, Texas and elsewhere in the U.S., honoring National Coming Out Day is more important than ever.

"Today we are facing the same challenges that made coming out and visibility imperative: hateful and dehumanizing legislation, court rulings that jeopardize our freedoms and embolden bigots who threaten our safety," Nadine Smith, executive director of Equality Florida, the state's largest LGBTQ advocacy organization, told TODAY.com in an email. She added that this year's observation is a "call to resistance" against those who are "manufacturing fear and stoking violence" against the LGBTQ community.

What is the purpose of National Coming Out Day?

National Coming Out Day encourages LGBTQ people to share their authentic selves with others, and to encourage and support other LGBTQ people who do the same.

The goal of the holiday is to create LGBTQ awareness and visibility.

When did National Coming Out Day originate?

National Coming Out Day was founded on October 11, 1988 by LGBTQ activists Robert Eichberg and Jean O’Lear.

The pair chose the date to honor the first anniversary of the 1987 March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights, a groundbreaking event in LGBTQ history.

According to his New York Times obituary, Eichberg, who died in 1995 at age 50 of complications from AIDS, said in a 1993 interview, “Most people think they don’t know anyone gay or lesbian, and in fact everybody does. It is imperative that we come out and let people know who we are and disabuse them of their fears and stereotypes.”
How does an LGBTQ person come out?

The coming out process is different for everyone — and because LGBTQ people come out so many times over the course of their lives, the process can change as time goes on.

The good news is that resources are available all over the internet.

The Human Rights Campaign, a national LGBTQ advocacy group, has a helpful Coming Out section on its website.

The Trevor Project, a national non-profit organization that supports young LGBTQ people, has written a Coming Out Handbook.

Is National Coming Out Day an official holiday?

Much like Pride Month in June, National Coming Out Day has been a holiday in the LGBTQ community since it was founded in 1988.

As such, it's been honored by world leaders, including President Joe Biden, who issued a statement of support to the LGBTQ community on Oct. 11, 2021.

In his message, Biden celebrated the courage of LGBTQ who “live their lives with pride, create community with open arms and hearts, and showcase the strength of being your authentic self."

“Today and every day, I want every member of the LGBTQ+ community to know that you are loved and accepted just the way you are — regardless of whether or not you’ve come out,” he added.
How can I celebrate National Coming Out Day?

While members of the LGBTQ community can participate in National Coming Out Day events across the U.S., they can also celebrate by simply living authentically and by encouraging others to do the same.

Allies of the community can also participate by visibly expressing their support of and their love for the LGBTQ people in their lives.

This article was originally published on TODAY.com

I think my child may be LGBTQ: 6 things you can do before they come out

Alexander Kacala
Wed, October 11, 2023 

I was in Atlantic City with my best friends when a table of women nearby — moms in their late 30s to early 40s — decided to join in on our Friday night out.

They were getting away from their kids and husbands for the weekend, as we were getting away from the hustle and bustle of New York City. They immediately clocked us as gay, while we immediately clocked them as tipsy.

After we warmed up to another, one mom anxiously said: "I have a question: I am pretty sure my son is gay, but I don't know what to do. He hasn't come out yet, but I wanna make sure he knows I'll be OK with it."

Most LGBTQ youth are aware of their sexual orientation or gender identity by the start of adolescence. But still, the real and perceived fear of rejection still deters many children from coming out.

What can parents do?

From responding to Neil Patrick Harris on "The Tonight Show" to spending some time with Google, here are six things a parent can do before their child comes out.

1. Respond to an LGBTQ character in the media

With LGBTQ visibility continuing to rise in the media, there are plenty of opportunities to breach the topic in your household.

"If you’re watching TV or a movie together and an LGBTQ character comes on, seize the opportunity to affirm to your child that you are accepting and supportive of LGBTQ people," Kristina Furia, the founder and executive director of Emerge Wellness and Philadelphia LGBTQ Counseling, tells TODAY Parents.

"It may seem counter-intuitive but the best thing to do is to wait for your child to open up to you."

2. Stop any and all hate speech

This may seem like an obvious one, but microaggressions are a great opportunity for you to demonstrate to your child that you are an ally.

A 2018 report from the Human Rights Campaign shows that 78% of LGBTQ youth who are not out at home hear their families make negative comments about LGBTQ people.

Furia says, "It is crucial that your child feel that your home and ultimately you are a safe space. You must not allow hateful speech, whether subtle or overt, of any kind to be tolerated."

For example, if someone uses the word "gay" in place of "stupid," remind them that the two are not interchangeable, and suggest they should say what they actually mean instead.

3. Educate yourself

Start educating yourself about the LGBTQ community: You don't have to wait for the big "coming out" moment to start learning.

"Consider increasing your understanding of the LGBTQ experience and brushing up on appropriate language," Furia says. "There is an array of vocabulary relevant to the community that you very well might not know yet."

4. Seek your own network

You're also part of your child's LGBTQ experience, so make sure you take care of yourself in the process.

"Consider getting involved with an organization for additional support and resources," Furia says. "PFLAG is a great place to start."

PFLAG is the nation's first and largest organization for LGBTQ people, their families and allies.

"Self-care is crucial, which means that even as you are learning how best to support your child or loved one, you must also find support for you," Liz Owen, director of communications for PFLAG National, told TODAY.

"This is especially true if your emotions are less positive, as you’ll need a safe place to work through those feelings. PFLAG meetings are a great and confidential way to find people who have gone through similar experiences. You can find a chapter near you by visiting here."

Another group specifically for dads is Dragon Dads, an online network and resource for religious fathers who shower their LGBTQ children with love and support.

5. Ask open-ended questions

Facilitating healthy dialogue can begin with the parent.

"Give your child ample opportunity to open up and share their thoughts and feelings. Whether they want to talk about their hopes for the future, or a situation that happened in school or at work that day, the prospect for open discussion is endless," Owen says.

"If you have a sense that your loved one might want to talk, but isn’t doing so on their own, a gentle open-ended question, such as, 'How did things go at school/work/church today?' can open the door to dialogue."

6. Don't push

Furia and Owen both stress the importance of not jumping the gun. Let your child take the lead.

"It is important that you address this subject with great care," Furia explains. "It may seem counter-intuitive but the best thing to do is to wait for your child to open up to you. If asked about their sexual orientation or gender identity before they’re ready to discuss it, your child might shell up, or worse, experience feelings of embarrassment or even shame. The best thing you can do is to make the conversation welcome by creating a warm and safe environment where open communication is the norm."

And when they finally are ready to talk, Owen adds, "Really listen."

These resources can help:

• PFLAG: The country’s largest organization uniting parents, families, and allies with people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer.

• Gender Spectrum: Offers groups, training, and resources promoting gender sensitivity and inclusion for all youth

• GLBT National Resource Database: LGBTQ+ digital directory of resources

• National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color Network: Directory of therapists/counselors who are people of color

• National LGBTQ Task Force: The progressive advocacy arm of the LGBTQ+ movement

During LGBTQ Pride Month, TODAY is sharing the community’s history, pain, joy and what’s next for the movement. We will be publishing personal essays, stories, videos and specials throughout the entire month of June. For more, head here.

This story was published in 2019 and has been updated.

This article was originally published on TODAY.com

https://youtu.be/PBhd5OTVykQ

I couldn’t write about a trans character now, says Booker-nominated author

Anita Singh
Tue, October 10, 2023 

Tremain says some of her bestselling novels would be unlikely to make it into print today - Andrew Crowley


A Booker-nominated writer who included a trans child in one of her novels has said she would not be able to do so today as authors are being “boxed in” by their experiences.

Rose Tremain, author of Restoration, said some of her bestselling novels would be unlikely to make it into print today.

She wrote about the experiences of a trans child in Sacred Country, published in 1992, researching the subject by speaking to people with gender dysphoria. In 2008, she wrote The Road Home, in which the protagonist is an eastern European widower who comes to the UK in search of work.


“I think I definitely wouldn’t be able to do them now,” Tremain said.

“I wrote about a little girl called Mary who believes she’s a boy. I was very interested in the subject because I felt at the time it was one of the last unexplained things.

“I loved writing that book and it makes me feel slightly sad to think that if I were to embark on a subject like that now, people would say, ‘Oh, no, it’s inauthentic’ because I haven’t experienced it.

In 1992 Tremain wrote about the experiences of a trans child in Sacred Country, researching the subject by speaking to people with gender dysphoria

“We are in this curtailment moment where we are boxed in,” she told an audience at the Cheltenham Literature Festival.

“The Road Home is about an immigrant from Eastern Europe. Again, I did a lot of research and I think it’s as authentic a journey as I could possibly have made it, but I think it isn’t something that I could write now.

“So we are a bit boxed in, particularly writers like me who have always gone into somebody else’s consciousness.

“My career has been long, and I think that’s what has made it long. If you endlessly write about yourself, you run out of material aged about 45, and I’ve never run out of material. But now maybe I have to rethink that.”

Tremain, 80, said she felt on safer ground with her memoir, published in 2018, because “people can’t complain about me writing about my own life”.

Her latest novel, Absolutely and Forever, draws on her memories of her teenage years in the late 1950s and early 1960s.

The author was shortlisted for the Booker Prize for Restoration in 1988 and longlisted in 2000 for Trespass. The former was turned into an Oscar-winning film starring Robert Downey Jr.

Sacred Country won the James Tait Black Memorial Prize and Tremain said people had urged her not to write it, but only because trans issues were little heard of in the 1990s.

“I remember at the time people saying, ‘This is such a marginal subject. Why are you writing about this?’” she recalled.

“They said it was on the periphery of society. And now, of course, it’s absolutely forefront and affecting the way we think and behave.”

National LGBTQ groups sue North Carolina over transgender youth health care ban

Kyle Ingram
Wed, October 11, 2023 

Vladimir Vladimirov/Getty Images


A group of national and local LGBTQ organizations said Wednesday they have sued North Carolina over new legislation that bans most gender-affirming health care for transgender youth.

The lawsuit, filed in federal court by Lambda Legal and several other groups, argues that the law, House Bill 808, violates the 14th Amendment and infringes on the rights of parents to make medical decisions with their children.

“Trans youth deserve the ability to be themselves and to be free from discrimination,” Omar Gonzalez-Pagan, a lawyer with Lambda Legal, said. “Parents should not have their rights curtailed because their children are transgender. By bringing this case, we are seeking to vindicate those rights.”

Plaintiffs are seeking a preliminary injunction to block the law’s implementation as the case goes on.

The bill in question bans surgical gender transitions for minors and also bans the prescription of hormones or puberty-blocking drugs for minors. Health care providers who violate the law could have their medical licenses revoked.

Democratic Gov. Roy Cooper vetoed the bill in July, saying, “A doctor’s office is no place for politicians.” Republicans, who hold a supermajority in both chambers of the legislature, overrode his veto to enact the bill.

Sen. Joyce Krawiec, a Republican from Forsyth County, defended the bill as the legislature passed it into law, saying the state “has an interest in protecting our children from long-term harm. That’s what this bill is all about.”

A similar law in Arkansas was permanently blocked after a federal judge ruled it to be unconstitutional.

Among the plaintiffs in the case are a 9-year-old transgender boy and his parents, who say the law prevents him from obtaining necessary medical care to treat his gender dysphoria.

HB 808 is one of several bills passed this session that target LGBTQ youth. Lawmakers passed a bill that bans transgender women from competing on women’s sports teams. Republicans also passed the Parents’ Bill of Rights, which bans curriculum from mentioning gender identity or sexuality in early grades and requires teachers to inform parents if their child begins using a different name or pronouns.

North Carolina family, doctor sue to block state’s gender-affirming health care ban

Brooke Migdon
Wed, October 11, 2023

Two national LGBTQ rights groups, a North Carolina doctor and a family with a transgender child are challenging a new North Carolina law preventing transgender minors from receiving gender-affirming health care.

The coalition argues in a federal lawsuit filed Wednesday that the law discriminates on the basis of gender identity and infringes on the right of parents to make medical decisions on behalf of their children.

North Carolina’s House Bill 808, which went into effect Oct. 1, prohibits health care providers in the state from administering gender-affirming medical care — including hormones, puberty blockers and certain surgical procedures — to transgender youths younger than 18.

The state’s Democratic Gov. Roy Cooper vetoed the bill, along with two other measures targeting LGBTQ young people, in July. In August, North Carolina’s GOP-controlled Legislature voted to override Cooper’s vetoes, allowing measures that ban gender-affirming care for youth, prevent transgender women and girls from competing on female sports teams and limit classroom instruction about sexual orientation and gender identity to take effect.

Cooper called the trio of bills “a triple threat of political culture wars.”

North Carolina health care providers under House Bill 808 are expressly prohibited from prescribing or dispensing puberty blockers or doses of testosterone or estrogen to transgender individuals younger than 18, although identical treatments are still legally available to minors with a “medically verifiable disorder of sex development.”

The measure also prohibits doctors from providing or recommending “surgical gender transition procedures” to transgender minors and bars state funds — including for North Carolina Medicaid participants — from being used to support gender-affirming health care for youth. Health care providers who violate the law risk losing their medical licenses.

Gender-affirming care for both transgender adults and minors is considered medically necessary and often life-saving by every major medical organization. The American Medical Association’s policymaking body during an annual meeting in June said the group will oppose “state and federal legislation that would prohibit or limit gender-affirming care.”

In the federal lawsuit filed Wednesday, a couple calling themselves Vanessa and Vance Voe, who live in North Carolina with their 9-year-old transgender son, Victor, said their lives will be “turned upside down” if House Bill 808 is allowed to remain in effect.

The family, which is proceeding pseudonymously to protect its privacy, said in Wednesday’s lawsuit that Victor Voe “is terrified of going through a puberty that is completely foreign to him” if he is prevented from taking puberty blockers, saying “his anxiety is growing.”

Vanessa and Vance Voe, the lawsuit says, “cannot bear to witness their child go through physical changes that will profoundly harm him,” but they “do not wish to uproot their lives, nor can they imagine bearing the long-term financial costs associated with leaving the state to get care for Victor.”

Victor Voe loves video games and music and he hopes to be a marine biologist one day, the family’s attorneys said Wednesday.

The Voe family is joined by Riley Smith, a North Carolina family physician, and the LGBTQ rights groups PFLAG and GLMA in suing the state over House Bill 808.

The plaintiffs, represented by Lambda Legal and the National Health Law Program, are asking for a preliminary injunction to block the law’s enforcement while the legal challenge against it proceeds.

“As a family physician that serves transgender patients, I can confirm that gender-affirming care is lifesaving,” Smith said in Wednesday a statement.

“Laws banning gender-affirming care will have dire consequences for transgender youth. We do not need politicians in the exam rooms with us, overriding thew decisions of families and their doctor or putting our professional licenses at risk for doing our jobs,” he said. “Instead, providers in North Carolina should be able to provide the highest quality, evidence-based care to their transgender patients, just like we do for our other patients.”