UK

T’was the Puritans wot done it: The ‘Right’s 10 most absurd Christmas cancelled claims’

Gabrielle Pickard-Whitehead 

22 December, 2024 

LEFT FOOT FORWARD

In the strange world that is GB News and their ilk, where conspiracy theories and outrage are always just around the corner, they would love to cast themselves as the cavaliers against woke roundheads. As ever, reality, and history come to that, is never that simple.

“Christmas is cancelled” is a predictable rant by right-wing pundits blaming ‘lefties’ for ruining the festivities in the name of diversity and inclusion. But what’s typically forgotten in their rage is that it was Puritans who banned Christmas five centuries ago.

Under Oliver Cromwell’s reign, they outlawed the festivities, claiming they led to drunkenness, gambling, and all-around debauchery. They saw Christmas as a pagan tradition and unbiblical, and rightly so in strictly theological terms, something which the current right-wing furore around supposed threats to our ‘Christian’ festivity are entirely ignorant.

Riots, looting, and protests erupted in protest, and the Puritans, in their quest for piety, sparked a rebellion that eventually contributed to the second Civil War. Ironically, the ban turned Christmas into a more secular affair, as people kept December 25 as a secret day of feasting and revelry throughout the ten-year Protectorate before the monarchy was restored.

Of course, in the strange world that is GB News and their ilk, where conspiracy theories and outrage are always just around the corner, they would love to cast themselves as the cavaliers against woke roundheads. As ever, reality, and history come to that, is never that simple.

As the right frequently disregards historical facts and context in their outrageous stories, here are some of the most absurd examples of their ‘Christmas cancelled’ meltdown from Christmas present and recent past.

‘Replacing nativity does not honour diversity, it dilutes our heritage and leaves a cultural void – Sally-Ann Hart’ – GB News

Sally-Ann Hart, former Tory MP turned regular GB News contributor, devoted an entire column to venting about Christmas traditions being “side-lined” in favour of “generic winter festivals” or “holiday celebrations,” as left-wing plotters seek to undermine UK heritage.

Seriously, does anyone actually believe swapping a nativity play for a ‘winter celebration’ is the end of Christmas as we know it?

It’s a non-story, but it plays well to the GB News audience.

‘Parents’ fury after school tries to ‘ban’ Christmas references from its festive pantomime so it can be ‘inclusive’ for children of all faiths’ – Daily Mail

We weren’t even halfway through November, when a poor unsuspecting primary school in Hampshire came under fire in the national press for making changes to its festive pantomime to be more inclusive of children from different faiths.

The Mail claimed to have the ‘exclusive’ on the story – yes really, an exclusive about a primary school panto.

The newspaper’s outrage machine revved up, citing aggrieved parents claiming that the Christmas reference exclusions from the pantomime undermines the Christian tradition. (Let’s face it, it’s not difficult to find aggrieved primary school parents!)

Donald Trump was even hauled into their fury. Seizing the moment on X, GB News columnist Alex Armstrong, posted: ‘Leave Christmas alone. We are a Christian country, end of story. We need a Trump level overhaul of our education system.’

‘Christmas trees coming down in Europe to avoid offending Muslims’ – Tucker Carlson

It’s not just our press that’s embroiled in the absurd Christmas is cancelled culture war-stoking outrage.

In 2017, right-wingers in Europe and the US, worked themselves up into a frenzy over claims that Italian officials ordered the removal of a Christmas tree to avoid offending Muslims. Among them was Fox News presenter Tucker Carlson.

His ‘Christmas trees coming down in Europe to avoid offending Muslims’ tweet attracted over 12,000 retweets, likes and comments.

The trouble was, that the story was found to be a misrepresentation. As the BBC informed us, the Bolzano council asked for a Christmas tree decoration to be removed from the town hall in accordance with the rules that the room must be left in the same condition in which it was found. The same day, a Muslim association was due to use the room, but this was not the reason the tree was removed.

But hey, why let facts and accuracy get in the way of a good Muslim smear story?

‘Christmas traditions that are cancelled – and what to do instead’ – the Telegraph

The Telegraph’s Boudicca Fox-Leonard didn’t hold back with this one, claiming that sustainability, MeToo, wokeism and health and safety are out to ruin Christmas.

According to the lifestyle writer, concerns about plastic toys, wrapping paper, and “pigs in blankets” are the latest threats to Christmas.

Apparently, advocating for sustainability is now a Christmas killer. Surely, if anything, these ‘threats’ show that Christmas as ever, is evolving, not disappearing?

‘Now Whitehall’s woke ‘blob’ tries to ban Christmas: Ministers are warned using the word in festive jab drive will offend minorities’ – Daily Mail

This Daily Mail headline from 2021 was stuffed with all the derogatory ‘leftie’ cliches. Civil servants, the newspaper claimed, blocked the word ‘Christmas’ from efforts to avert a winter Covid crisis, as they fear it would “offend minority religions.”

“The move sparked a row over ‘wokeism’ in the Civil Service – which has been disparagingly nicknamed ‘The Blob’ by critics – with one Muslim Tory MP branding the ban ‘ridiculous,’” wrote the Mail.

Speaking of ridiculous, the Mail’s claim was based on some leaked emails, absurdly spinning a minor internal discussion about inclusive language during a pandemic into a full-blown conspiracy about the ‘woke’ civil service banning Christmas.

‘Cadbury fans claim ‘Christmas is cancelled’ and launch a petition after confectioner confirms festive treat has been axed’ – Daily Mail

Last month, the Daily Mail reported that Cadbury had “cancelled Christmas” by discontinuing its beloved Festive Friends biscuits, which come in Christmas shapes like Santa, reindeer, and snowmen. Fans were apparently heartbroken and in September (yes September) social media erupted in anger.

Well, it turned out that Cadbury wasn’t cancelling Christmas, it was replacing the festive treat with “Festive Animals” biscuits. Crisis averted.

But you can rely on the right-wing press to find another crisis, this time related to that historic part of the festivities – the television schedule.

‘FESTIVE OH DEAR, MasterChef stars slam BBC saying ‘Christmas is cancelled’ after Gregg Wallace scandal sees shows pulled from schedule’ – the Sun

The BBC, Greg Wallace and Christmas cancelled all in one juicy headline. The Sun certainly excelled in the clickbait stakes with this one.

The real reason the MasterChef special has been axed is of course because a serious investigation into one of its presenters over alleged misconduct is underway, not some grand conspiracy to eliminate Christmas.

If the BBC had aired the episode, they’d have been accused of brushing serious issues under the carpet. They can’t win either way.

Somewhere Christmas is forever being cancelled in that strange place that is the right-wing universe. Thus, GB News reported:

‘Christmas CANCELLED: Village abandons fair for first time in 25 years after ‘over the top’ health and safety terror fears’

I spotted this one on the ‘Nigel Farage for Prime Minister – Britain Needs Reform’ Facebook page (say no more!)

In a village in Lincolnshire, a Christmas fair was cancelled because organisers were overwhelmed by health and safety paperwork – amid fears of a possible terrorist attack.

Of course, this was framed as another blow to Christmas, as if Christmas fairs are immune from safety regulations. The real issue? This could have been presented as a bureaucracy and red tape story, not surely as a coordinated attack on the Christmas spirit.

But sadly, such details get lost in the outcry. Instead, these headlines are feeding into a particular version of nationalist values. “What kind of sick country are we in?” wrote one outraged reader.

‘The PC ‘war on Christmas’ is no right-wing myth’ – Spiked

At least this one partially acknowledged the possibility that the ‘war on Christmas’ is a right-wing myth.

But rather than taking the opportunity to explore the mythic possibilities, Spiked doubled down on it, accusing those who apparently dismiss Christmas of being part of the left-wing elite.

In their view, and this is where things get seriously weird, the real villain isn’t manufactured outrage, it’s the European Union, which they claim is “authoritarian” and meddling in Christmas traditions.

“Stories about banning Christmas shouldn’t be automatically dismissed as tabloid shibboleths. Nor should we ignore another unfashionable clichéd truth that bien pensants are scared to utter: that the EU is an authoritarian, meddlesome and egregious entity,” wrote columnist Patrick West.

‘Christmas cancelled. Thank you, China’ – Nigel Farage

In December 2020, Nigel Farage tweeted “Christmas cancelled, thank you China,” in reference to Covid-19 restrictions. To say his tweet was provocative, xenophobic, and tone-deaf would be putting it mildly.

The backlash over his bizarre attempt to link China to the cancellation of Christmas was swift, and rightly so. But Farage’s followers lapped it up. The Farage-loving Express jumped to the now MP’s defence.

“China launches attack on Nigel Farage for ‘Christmas cancelled, thank you China’ tweet,” was the headline.

Hmm, and they wonder why hate crimes against Chinese people in the UK soared during the coronavirus crisis.

In reality, the baseless claims about Muslims and other minority groups threatening Christmas have been debunked time and again.

As Nilufar Ahmed notes in the Independent, those who oppose the inclusion of Muslims in Christmas celebrations are often the same individuals who accuse Muslims of not integrating, yet, when Muslims do integrate, these critics quickly decry it as Muslims “taking over.”

The hypocrisy is all too common, with objections rooted more in racism and Islamophobia than any real concern for Christmas traditions.

Right-wing media watch – what’s happening with the ‘Torygraph’ sale saga?

“Britain’s Telegraph: The newspaper auction from hell,” was the headline in the Columbia Journalism Review (CRJ) this week.

“A storied London broadsheet is for sale—again,” continued the US magazine for journalists, “the latest bidder, right-wing media proprietor Dovid Efune, is struggling to raise the money.”

It’s certainly been a turbulent year for Britain’s Conservative mouthpiece, which has endorsed the party at every general election since 1945.

In October 2023, the Telegraph and Spectator titles were put up for sale after Lloyds Banking Group seized them from the Barclay family due to £1.2bn in unpaid debts.

RedBird IMI, a group backed by Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed al-Nahyan, vice-president of the United Arab Emirates and owner of Manchester City football club, effectively took control of the titles in December last year, after settling the debts.

However, several months later, the government published legislation blocking foreign state ownership of UK media and RedBird IMI confirmed it was walking away.

So back to auction it went.

In July, Lord Rothermere, the owner of the Daily Mail, pulled out of the auction due to concerns over competition and political hurdles.

Rumours surfaced that former Tory chancellor Nadhim Zahawi was seeking backers, but no solid offers emerged.

Paul Marshall, hedge fund billionaire and owner of GB News, also dropped out in September after failing to meet the bid deadline. Marshall, who acquired the Spectator for £100m earlier that month, was reportedly deterred by the £550m price tag set by Redbird IMI.

The name still doing the rounds is Dovid Efune, the Manchester-born publisher of the online-only New York Sun. Efune entered talks to purchase the titles in October after submitting the highest bid in the second round of auctioning. He had previously praised the Telegraph, for “practicing precisely the form of journalism that’s so lacking in today’s media environment: values-based, principled and constitutionalist.”

But Efune has also had a setback. He has been working with LionTree, the boutique investment bank, as an advisor to help secure financial backers to clinch the deal. Backers approached included the asset manager Oaktree, the family office of the US hedge fund manager Michael Leffell, the former Conservative treasurer Sir Mohamed Mansour, Ashcroft Partners and the Koch family.

But in mid-November, Oaktree withdrew, sparking speculation that the bid may fall apart. Efune though, remains optimistic, claiming he will secure alternative funding.

Efune, who has encouraged X owner Elon Musk multiple times to try reading the NY Sun, has drawn attention for his politically-charged rhetoric, including controversial statements about Israel and the Middle East.

In a series of posts on X, he said Israel would “decapitate” Iran’s leadership with “targeted strikes and close quarter assassinations …”

In a speech in 2023 in New York, he said that when it comes to the Israel-Hamas conflict there is a need to “fight with every report and headline”.

His provocative comments have raised concern among Telegraph staff about potential editorial influence. One insider commented: “We are out of the frying pan into the fire. His tweets over the last few days are not the behaviour you want to see from a newspaper proprietor. It compromises everybody by association.”

Oh dear, it sounds that if Efune does manage to pull off the acquisition, the Telegraph might become even more unhinged than it is now – if that’s possible.

Watch this space.

Woke bashing of the week – US anti-woke fund eyes UK expansion, with Nigel Farage in tow

An ‘anti-woke’ US hedge fund that seeks to punish American companies with gender and diversity hiring targets is setting its sights on the UK.

James Fishback, a hedge fund manager and Trump supporter, plans to introduce his Azoria Meritocracy investment fund to British investors.

According to the Telegraph, Fishback plans to meet Nigel Farage and Reform MP Rupert Lowe in January, to discuss how “diversity programmes have hijacked the quest for excellence in the West.”

Fishback would also like to meet Kemi Badenoch, who has criticised regulators for “forcing regulators to disclose their diversity data.”

“I was relieved to see Kemi ascend to that role [Tory Party leader],” he said.

In early December, Fishback unveiled his anti-woke S&P 500 tracker at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort, promising to exclude companies with diversity quotas. The fund is set to launch in early 2025, with a target of raising $1bn to invest in hundreds of S&P 500 companies, though about 30 will be excluded for their “diversity, equity, and inclusion” (DEI) policies.

Backing Fishback are high-profile US figures like investor Cathie Wood and right-wing academic Kevin Roberts, who is leading Trump’s Project 2025 plan for government. For them, supposed meritocracy (which is actually no such thing) is the gold standard, while race or gender quotas or other ‘woke’ social justice initiatives stand in the way.

Starbucks has become the poster child for these anti-woke campaigners. Fishback applauded the firing of CEO Laxman Narasimhan in favour of “skilled business operator” Brian Niccol.

On X, he stated: “The *only way* to turnaround Starbucks is if Brian recommits to meritocracy by eliminating any racial and gender hiring targets. It’s time for Starbucks to stop playing woke games and start hiring the best Americans from all walks of life. Meritocracy is a precondition for excellence.”

Nigel Farage, would, no doubt, be a powerful ally for Fishback. Last year, he accused NatWest of “morphing into a woke warrior” under Dame Alison Rose for allegedly prioritising diversity over profits. He spent virtually the whole of 2023 railing against ‘woke capitalism’ after Coutts Bank shut his account.

And Farage is not alone in US-inspired crusade against ‘woke capitalism.’ Former PM Liz Truss has slammed ESG as an “enemy of economic growth.”

But here’s the best part. ‘Anti-woke’ investments don’t exactly deliver stellar returns. Hal Lambert’s Point Bridge America First ETF (MAGA) launched in 2017 to invest in Republican-leading corporations. Top MAGA holdings include oil and gas firm ConocoPhillips, trading platform Robinhood and energy company Vistra. MAGA has returned 25% in the past 12 months and 13% over five years, according to etf.com data published on Proactive Investors. This performance is slightly below the S&P 500’s 28% return over 12 months and significantly below the S&P 500’s five-year return of 88%.

In its ‘ESG Investing: examining returns of broad-based vs thematic investments’ report, HSBC confirms the merits of ESG investing, which can deliver competitive returns in the medium-to-long term. The report states:

“There is a growing body of evidence that ESG factors can contribute to financial performance over the longer term. Companies with strong ESG credentials tend to benefit from lower capital costs, enhanced operational efficiency, and improved stakeholder relationships.”

It looks like the anti-woke brigade might want to ditch the sensationalism for the spreadsheets and take a second look at the numbers.


Gabrielle Pickard-Whitehead is author of Right-Wing Watch